November 2001
First Reconciliation for Seven Year
Olds? Definitely!!!
Delaying reception of the sacrament does no favors
for anyone.
"It is too scary for
them to do right now."
"They don't know what sin is."
"They don't know what a sacrament is."
"They simply aren't ready at this age."
These are four reasons that I
have heard for delaying the celebration of First Reconciliation. With a
recent reiteration of the longstanding Archdiocesan policy, questions and
concerns about the practice have surfaced. Apart from what the regulations
demand (which is best addressed by reading the regulations themselves), I
would like to offer some very concrete reasons why we as Church must
maintain this practice of celebrating the Sacrament of Reconciliation with
young children.
"It is too scary for
them."
I believe that this objection
is rooted in the "baggage" that some of us adults carry from our
own experiences of First Penance. There is, on the whole, no reason why
celebrating the sacrament has to be a scary experience. Certainly, young
people will get anxious about confessing their sins to the priest.
However, I would argue that any anxiety over the experience has the
potential of multiplying and growing as the child gets older. The longer
you delay the first celebration, the longer a child who is developing more
sophisticated thinking processes will brood over it!
There is much that
catechetical leaders can do to ease anxiety over the first celebration of
reconciliation. Many hold rehearsals which include a walk through the rite
of the sacrament, perhaps even a role play by "actors". When I
was a DRE, the celebration itself was always festive and joyful, including
fun and refreshments afterwards. More times than not, kids found that
"it wasn't that bad", or that "Father was nice", and
the actual experience was reassuring and peaceful.
"They don't know what
sin is."
This assertion doesn't make
any sense to me!
Now, it is true that a seven
year old will often need help distinguishing between a sin and a mistake.
They also usually don't have any heavy duty sins to confess. What better
time to celebrate the sacrament? They might not have all of their
distinctions clear, but they DO have a sense of what is right and what is
wrong. Assuming that these kids actually have reached the age of
discretion, they know when they have done something wrong deliberately.
Even if the finer distinctions are blurry, this is enough to bring to
Reconciliation.
For goodness' sake, let's
celebrate the sacrament when kids are experiencing the "lighter"
side of sin! What better time to reassure them that, no matter what, God
forgives them and calls them back into relationship? A great celebration
now may perhaps help them to come forward later when they are burdened by
the struggles of adolescence and adulthood.
"They don't know what
a sacrament is."
Who among us has plumbed the
depths of the sacraments, and has a profound understanding of how they
work, what they mean, and how God is present to us through them? In the
sacraments, we ultimately encounter, not a concept or idea, but our
mysterious God, pouring self out to us. What we must understand
about the sacraments is that they are, ultimately, God's gifts to us.
The Archdiocesan guidelines
for Reconciliation outline various criteria for readiness to receive the
sacrament, and they include some knowledge of the sacramental rites.
However, they do not demand that the candidate be a sacramental rocket
scientist! Let's take these criteria seriously.
"They simply aren't
ready at this age."
Any of the objections
mentioned here may indeed be true for an individual child. However, I
would argue that most seven year olds are ready. For the celebration of
this sacrament, we must defer to Canon Law. I strongly believe that if
your child has reached the age of discretion, he or she is ready to
receive the Sacrament of Penance, barring some significant circumstance in
his/her life that would warrant a delay.
Parents are, of course, the
key players in discerning these circumstances, and must carefully consider
the criteria for readiness. There is no substitute for that part of the
process.
A New Way of Thinking?
For years, Catholic adults
have regarded the Sacrament of Reconciliation with wariness and dread.
What can we do to change this perspective? What can parish leaders do to
present this sacrament to candidates not as an obligation, but as a gift
of grace from God? How can we as parents make forgiveness and
reconciliation a more natural part of our lives?
I suggest that we leave our
own baggage at the door, and start with the presumption that our
youngsters are ready to partake of this gift of God's love. Let's
remember that God is eager to share this gift with them!
 Chris Weber
Director
Catholic Education Ministries of Central Maryland.
Copyright © 2001 by the Catholic Education
Ministries Center of Central Maryland, Emmitsburg, MD 21727. All rights reserved.
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